My best friend once said, “Don’t wait for love. Don’t come looking for it either. If it comes, welcome it. If it decides that it wants to leave, let it go.”
I didn’t believe in waiting for love. I was always the go-getter. I was always impatient, maybe that’s why I always end up hurt, or unsatisfied. This particular time in my life, I had all the time in the world to focus on myself and figure out what kind of man I needed, what traits or qualities I had to change or modify about myself, what kind of feeling I wanted to feel. I had all the time in the world to focus on being the better version of myself. I didn’t do it for the “glow up“, not for the hype that people assumed it was about, that I needed to improve myself because I wanted my ex to regret leaving me. Sometimes it was about that, honestly, but for the most part, it was about me reaching my full potential to be the right person for my next love story.
You happened. I never wanna forget how our story started, so, I am writing this now to keep the memory alive. Shareif asked me if I wanted a guy, and – knowing myself – I just kind of agreed to let him look for a guy for me, but I never intended to gain anything serious from that since we always joked around about it. He showed me your Facebook profile and I said, fine, and he said he’d introduce us to each other next time. He told me you were sweet, full of effort, full of love. I didn’t believe it, I thought it was too good to be true.
You followed me on Instagram and I followed you back. We started talking, I felt your shyness through the exchange of messages, but I liked how you were so clear about your intentions from the beginning. We started talking about two weeks before Valentine’s day, and you asked me on a date. I was always hesitant but I felt the connection was there, and I told myself, “Well, why the heck not.” I agreed.
February 3rd, I was out drinking with my friends, and so were you. We were in the same area. I knew I had to make a way to see you, even without the help of Shareif, and so I did. You picked me up from this bar and went to a different one, and that was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made this year so far. That’s where it all started. He was right. Your effort is incomparable. Your values, your principles, just who you are – it was perfect. Sometimes a bit overwhelming, but perfect nonetheless.
Some may say we might be going too fast, but I don’t mind the speed, as long as I’m in it with you. Some may say we might not know each other well enough to already be in a relationship, I say fuck that – we have the rest of our lives to figure each other out. From here on out, I’m never going to let you feel like you’re alone ever again, you’ll never have to second guess your effort’s worth, because I know I’m all in. We’re in it together now, and I know we’ll still be in it together for the rest of the days to come.
Getting to know you day by day keeps me going; I may not show you how I feel most of the time, and this is the only thing I ask of you – please be patient with me. Stand by my side as I continue to heal myself. Stand by me as I slowly unfold who I am, how I love, and how my world works. This is what’s going to take time, despite all the other things about us that happened all too quickly – but the feeling will always be there – the love will always stay. That you can be sure of.